So, news for Touched

My laptop gave up on me after the abuse it suffered under my hands.

I stole my sister's laptop to post this.

I HAVE GREAT NEWS. LOOK WHAT I HAVE!!!

My book is here! ISN'T IT PRETTY!!

I love it, simple and so gorgeous *strokes book*, it has it's flaws though and of course I found a few typos but hey, nothing that can be fixed.

I am so happy!!!!!

And now, if only I can get another laptop so I can get book 2 and 3 done. And my other works as well.

A compilation of snippets

 First snippet:

Nakamura sensei said that there are three types of people that we will meet in our lifetime;
The one who stands before us, a reminder of who we want to be.
The one who stands beside us, a reminder of who we are.
The one who stands behind us, a reminder of who we were.
To me, Gabe was all three and in a way, he still was.
In short, as things were, I was so screwed.

Second snippet:

I played fast and loose with consciousness and in the short moments I’ve surfaced from the black peaceful place I was in, I saw Shay, sitting in a corner with his two blades in hand. Moonlight washed away all the color from his hair, his face, making him look like a creature made of marble and stone and other cold and heartless things.
His blue eyes were closed, his face slack and relaxed as if in sleep but it didn’t fool me. If anyone who was a threat came through that door, he wouldn’t bother with questions, he would just kill.
No remorse. No regret.
What does it say about me that I find that comforting?

Third snippet:

William was always quiet, always calm. In a way it’s what makes him so deadly, the way he calculate and weigh options logically and always with a cool head. He would’ve been the most dangerous of them all if not for his fierce dedication to Aspaya who treats him like a son. William, despite his black lustruos hair, his perfect chiseled looks, tended to pale into the background…and he preferred it that way.
He did everything he was ordered to do without fuss and did what needed to be done with even less fuss. It amused me,  how everybody would bicker and fight and duel and then have William loitering on the background doing…whatever. Picking flowers, throwing out trash. Sunning on the deck.
I found him very peaceful to be around. I considered the time where I cleaned, sharpened and oiled the numerous blades and swords and daggers with him a kind of therapy, even though we didn’t talk to each other.
Maybe it was because of that. I didn’t have to prove anything to him and he didn’t expect anything from me. He was just there, like a really comfortable lived in sofa.

 Copyright © 2013 by D.F. Jules

Snippet

Mikail smiled and leaned back, his body posture relaxed and comfortable. "You know what makes us Demon Touched so effective, Leah?"

I knew he didn't really want an answer so I kept my mouth shut. I know. Surprise!

"It's our ability to sniff out people's desires." His black eyes glinted in the warm light. "Humans are creatures of temptations so they are fairly easy to tempt. Everyone have something that they want and we have a natural ability to see it. And when we do, to use it."

He sipped on his cup of cocoa and sighed in pleasure. "He wants you. Very badly. His desire for you is overwhelming that I am amazed that he can think straight. Gabe--"

My fingers fumbled on my cup and it clattered on its saucer, I didn't look at him--at Gabe who stood behind Mikael's seat; silent and intractable. 

"Gabe sees that, knows that, so you have to excuse his dislike for the Angel prince." He smiled. "One thing about Demon Touched that you should know. We don't like to share."

I could feel the weight of Gabe's eyes on me. I kept my eyes on my cup. "Was that what happened with my mother? You didn't want to share her?"

The amusement on his face grew claws. "Yes."

Copyright © 2013 by D.F. Jules

Snippet

I looked at him and he looked at me, waiting for me to react.

Something dark exists deep inside of him. Very dark and very deep, it hides behind the amiable smile and his ever-changing eyes. It is angry, unrelenting and unforgiving in both nature and spirit.

But looking at him, at the golden, revolting perfection of his features, you don’t see it. Or maybe if you do—a peculiar look on his face when the shadows fall in just the right place, a bitter bite in the usually soothing tone of his voice—you persuade yourself that it is just your imagination. Like a magician, he waves his hand and you look elsewhere.

But it is too late for me to deny or to pretend. I’ve seen the dark inside him and have answered its call.

To all eyes, he is the angel on my shoulder but I know better.

He is the big bad wolf—

—the poisonous apple—

—the hunter’s knife digging deep between my ribs.

Hunter Knife

Copyright © 2010 by D.F. Jules

A TOUCHED chapter mix-chapter 30Hungry Heart: Connect the Dots

The Spill Canvas-Connect the Dots

Don't you just love the feeling of my fingertips, circling your lips.

Don't you just love the desire taking hold of you, well, I can tell you do.

I know all your favorite spots, and tonight we will connect the dots.

scene:

I explored every dip and angle of his back, his skin was unbelievably hot, taut over layer of muscle and flesh and bone. My hand strayed to the spot on his left shoulder and traced the tattoo I knew was there with a fingertip.

The Script-I'm Yours

I may not have the softest touch

I may not say the words as such

I know I don't fit in that much

But I'm yours

scene:

“You want me.” His fingertips ran down the length of my arm, my skin erupting in goosebumps. “You need me.” The words were a statement but I detected a question in there somewhere and it was only then that

I understood his emphasis on the word ‘me’.

He wanted to know that I didn’t need him just because I needed a warm body, or the comfort of a friend, or because he was there or because he was familiar and safe. He needed to know that it was him that I wanted. 

Him that I needed.

It was small of me but I felt better at the hint of insecurity. I touched his face and stared straight into his eyes. “Yes.”

Sara Barreilles-Between the Lines

Cause I can't continue pretending to choose

These opposite sides on which we fall

scene:

I was aggrieved at the tug and war game between the different parts of myself and the unfair treatment I was giving Gabe. The smarter part of myself knew that getting involve with him would end in trouble and heartbreak on both our parts. The not-so-smart part of myself wanted to keep him for as long as I could and truthfully, the not-so-smart part is winning.

Andrew Belle-In My Veins

Oh you're in my veins and I cannot get you out

Oh you're all I taste at night inside of my mouth.

Oh you run away cause I am not what you found

Oh you're in my veins and I cannot get you out.

scene:

I bit my lip as our bodies locked together in newer and more intimate ways and decided to up the stakes and wrapped my legs around his waist. Our hearts knocked against each other through our chest as if saying hello.

I heard him sucked in a breath and his eyelashes fluttered close. I saw color darkened his cheekbones and a drop of sweat slid down his neck. I touched it, slid my fingers from his shoulder to his neck to catch it between my fingers.

Spitz-Je t'aime

Kimi ga iru no wa suteki na koto da

Yasashiku naru nanimokamo

Kimi ga iru no wa ikenai koto da

Nayamitsukareta kyou mo mata

(Translation)

Your being here is a wonderful thing.

Everything makes it sweeter.

Your being here will not do.

Today again I am tired from worrying.

scene:

Even before this whole emotional mess happened, he was mine as much as I was his, there was no denying that then and there was certainly no denying that now.

Taylor Swift-Sparks Fly (Covered by Julia Sheer & Taylor Ward)

My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something,

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be.

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world but with you I know it's good

scene:

—the crackle pop of bonfire, the cold rush of water suffocating my senses, the stretch and pull of muscle, the whisper of wind in the leaves, the pebbling of my skin as I reached the surface, drew in air and saw Gabe gliding in the water beside me— 

—the rasp of a blanket around my chilled limbs, a cup of bitter chocolate, sweet potato pie, sparks dancing in the night air, low conversations about nothing, a single candle on a chocolate muffin, candlelight floating in Gabe’s eyes, “Happy birthday, Leah.”, and the calmness in the air before thunder broke through the sky— 

—a laugh, and then a smile; warm, callused fingers trailing down my skin until they touched the sword-like amulet at the end of my necklace. “You’re wearing it.”—

Snow Patrol-Make This Go On Forever

And I don't know where to look

My words just break and melt

Please just save me from this darkness

scene:

My fingers speared into his hair and I luxuriated in the soft, dense strands of his dark brown hair. I rubbed my mouth against his and took his breath within me. My world righted itself again, the colors once again rich and layered and the sounds of the night made sense again and I could feel every rasp and stroke of his body against me, the sensations vibrant and strong.

Adele-One and Only

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only

I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms

So come on and give me the chance

scene:

"Leah--"

I jumped at his voice and my heart fluttered with trepidation when I saw his eyes opened; looking straight at me. "What?"

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

The question took me off guard. He'd never asked before. Most of the time, he merely took it for granted that I wanted him to stay. He’d seen how overwhelmed I was by the number of Touched who often stayed in Sanctuary. My control was still a bit shoddy and there's been times where I woke up because I couldn't breathe due to the Touched, or nightmares or stress or all three.

So, the times where I found him sleeping beside me had been a comfort. Those hours of peace had given me strength to face the day.

I've noticed that even other people had started expecting him to be in my room because he had stayed here so much. And with his status as my Sheath, none of them had even thought it odd.

I watched him watch me and I couldn't help wondering why he was suddenly seeking permission. I tried to figure out his logic but my head started to throb. So, I shrugged and deflect his question. "You're welcome to stay. You stay here most of the time anyway."

Something undefinable passed over his face and I knew I had said the wrong thing.

Stained-Everything Changes

Then we could stay here together

And we could conquer the world

If we could say that forever

It's more than just a word

scene:

Here was where he practiced his advice, he read my body like it was his favorite book; that one that you almost memorize but you read it over and over again because every word has meaning for you, and every time you do, you discover something new. He read me through every gasp, every fluttering sigh, every jump of heartbeat, every press of hands on skin.

Yoav & Emily Browning-Where is My Mind?

Where is my mind?

scene:

I cursed softly as I missed my rhythm and picked up my towel, rubbing sweat off my skin before starting again. I concentrated on the emptiness of the dojo, the silence and the dark of it and tried to emulate the shadows dancing on the walls.

Which is probably the only reason why I noticed him.

His stealth didn't betray him, he was as still and silent as ever. But my skin prickled with awareness. He was there somewhere and he was looking at me. Gabe was always looking at me.

I kept moving in slow, circular movements, keeping my rhythm as I tried to pinpoint his location.

There, I spotted a shadow that was much too dense, too solid. And as if he knew I had found him, he walked into the circle of silvery light that came down one of the windows.

His pale green  eyes was burning with something I was familiar with; excitement, the thrill of the hunt. There was a wide cut on his cheek, a red mark on his neck and his knuckles were bruised. His palms were bloody, and in several places his clothing was torn and his skin smeared with blood. He was even limping a little.

I stopped, faced him and waited for him to say something. Do something. He didn't. He merely stood there and stared at me. His eyes darkening as the silence stretched.

He was so still I was starting to think he was a figment of my imagination so when he finally did move, I twitched nervously. But he didn't approach me, he merely walked to the edge of the tatami mats and sat down. He settled into his seat as if he was expecting to be there for a long time, he put both elbows on his thighs and leaned forward, his eyes never moving from me.

I watched him watched me for a while. Then I pivoted away from him. Taking a deep breath, I began again.

With every movement, I could feel his watchful gaze; not judging, not evaluating. Just watching.

The only sound in the room was the brush of my feet against the tatami mats and our breathing; in and out. In and out. Steady and calm.

It took me a few minutes to realized that I was pacing my movements with the sound of his breathing.

In. Out. In. Out.

Meiko-Said and Done

You don't have to wait
For all this silly fate
For things you cannot make

Hey, what are you going to say?
What are you going to do?
When it's all said and done

scene:

A part of me knew that he was right but I also knew that he—someone who grew up knowing what he was, what he could do, someone who grew up among people as special and as unique as he had—didn’t understand. Didn’t understand growing up knowing that you are different, that you are alone, that you are helpless, that the enemy is not someone that you can fight, not someone that you can beat, and it’s not even someone that you can avoid. That it’s your own body that is against you.

That even though how hard you try, there is no true choice for you, there is no way for you to escape unless…

I’ve thought about it—thought a lot about it; when the world was too harsh, when the whispers too loud, when I was too sick to even lift my head.

But I had held on for my mom and when she was gone, I was so close, so close to ending it right there and then but Uncle Jim had came for me. So I had held on for Uncle Jim. But things were still hard, and my body kept betraying me. And I was so angry and so sad and I kept imagining the hows and the whys—

—and then Gabe had picked a fight. And had held me as I cried. And gave me peace. Gave me freedom. Gave me escape. Gave me protection.

Gave me unconditional love.

His was the only one I had never doubted. Had never questioned. He had never given me a reason to do so.

The day I found him was the day that I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be forgiven for that single, harmless lie that turned out not so harmless. He was proof, proof that perhaps I would someday be forgiven. Because there was no way, that someone so good, so selfless, could enter my life as punishment.

St Lola in the Fields-Don't Say

Don't fight, don't fight, don't fight, don't do it again

Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream don't want to hear it again

Don't say, don't say, don't say, don't say you're leaving this time

scene:

The edge in his voice grew to talons and I debated whether to ask what was wrong or to leave him alone. Gabe’s anger process was different than mine. While I handle my anger by either storming off or hitting something, Gabe would stew and let it fester. Then he’d withdraw into himself, crawl into some dark corner in his mind and seethe by his lonesome. His type of anger was dangerous especially since he wasn’t the one to forgive and forget.

David Cook-Always Be My Baby

You'll always be a part of me

I'm a part of you indefinitely

scene:

The little smile on his face turned solemn and his eyes turned dark. He had an almost supernatural radar when it came to my moods. He knew I was exhausted, mentally and physically but he didn’t want to fuss because I didn’t want him to. He stared at what I could only imagine was a stubborn look on my face and sighed. He rubbed his cheek against my temple—and he called me a cat—before leaning back and meeting my eyes. “You with me?”

3Murphy's Law

My classes started off pretty well. 

I had Mrs. Delilah for history, the same as last year. However, I was surprised to find Juliet waving at me from the back of the class, an empty seat beside her. I guessed the teachers had finally learned their lesson and divided the Triplets into different classes; and lucky me, I was going to share each of my classes with at least one of them. 

It seemed that the teachers assumed that I would have a calming influence on the Triplets. A lot they knew. 

Juliet smiled when I settled into the empty seat, and immediately caught me up on all the juicy gossip that she had managed to glean from her friends. Since Mrs. Delilah was known for her one sided love affair with the whiteboard and her distaste for talking to anyone who was under twenty, Juliet could do this without much sneaking around. 

I spread my gaze around the class. Actually, not even one of my fellow students had the decency to even pretend to pay attention. Even the geeks who sat in front of the class held either an e-book reader or a DS in their hands. 

Juliet tapped me softly on the arm and I returned my eyes to my cousin, her blue eyes observing me sharply. 

I wiped a hand over my face, just in case the candy bar I had snacked on showed at the corners of my mouth. “What?” 

“Nothing happened this morning, right?” Juliet’s blue eyes softened. “I mean, we shouldn’t have left you alone for so long…” 

I glanced at her and saw the worry etched clearly on her heart-shaped face. The Triplets didn’t know about my talent, but they knew something was wrong with me. They heard me scream in my sleep, saw the panic attacks in crowded places, and noticed the way I reacted when people encroached on my personal space. 

They’d grown protective of me over the years. They hardly ever invited new people to the house, never left me with strangers or alone for too long, and every time I couldn’t sleep, one of them was always around to talk to me. 

They knew something was up with me, but they never asked—and I wasn’t ever going to tell. 

Juliet squirmed in her seat when I remained quiet. “I saw Gabe and knew he’d find you right away.” She frowned, and the expression promised hell to Gabriel if he hadn’t. “He did, right?” 

I scratched my nose and nodded. “Yeah, he was with me.” 

Juliet beamed. “Good. How was he? He just came back from Borneo, right?” 

I nodded again and shared what Gabriel had told me. Anything to get Juliet off my back. Would I ever stop freaking every time my cousins implied that they know something was wrong with me? I didn’t think so. 

Would I ever stop feeling ashamed every time they thought that they had to protect me from the big bad world? 

Nope. 

To think that if I thought something was wrong with me, Juliet—small and delicate looking Juliet—would ride to my rescue was enough to have me feeling disgustingly useless. And I knew if Juliet was on the move, Ophelia and Titania would never be too far behind. They had the Triplet telepathy down to a science, a skill that gotten them out of trouble so many times before. 

I probably wouldn’t be too embarrassed if it was Ophelia doing the rescuing rather than Juliet or, God forbid, Titania. 

Ever since they’d reached puberty, the Triplets have been hell bent on being completely different from each other. While Titania chose to paint her hair ebony, join the drama club, and write angst-ridden poetry. Juliet had decided to stay blond and win every academia award in the school simply to break the dumb-blond stereotype. Ophelia, however, had cut her waist length hair up to her neck, dyed it blazing Alias red, and joined every dojo in the neighborhood that she could ride her bike to. 

Every Sunday after the family run, Tai Chi, Yoga, and sparring, Ophelia and I held our own sparring match in the house’s old garage, which we had renovated into a dojo of our own. By our count, we were even last Sunday and although it was still humiliating to have 5-foot-nothing Ophelia slam my face against the practice mat I never hesitated to crow with triumph whenever I won. Ophelia was small, sure, but she fought dirty, and I felt pride that I could kick her ass. 

Juliet frowned. “I don’t think I’ll see him today. I don’t have any classes with him.” 

“You can join us for lunch.” 

Juliet grimaced. “And watch him stuff his face with everything I want to eat but can’t because I don’t want to grow into a blimp? I don’t think so.” She sliced a glance toward me and poked her bottom lip out. “It’s not fair how you guys can eat buckets of food and not gain an ounce.” 

It was an age-old complaint of the Triplets, one that I enjoyed very much—but I mustered a sympathetic expression. “Well, at least you’ve got boobs.” 

Juliet perked up before looking down at her body to admire said boobs. “They are quite nice, aren’t they?” 

I stifled a smile at the way Juliet innocently patted her own boobs, drawing the attention of several boys and girls alike. “They’re definitely better than mine.” 

I was used to the blasé way the Triplets invaded my privacy and personal space, so I didn’t flinch when Juliet’s big, blue eyes zoomed in on my boobs like nobody’s business. At least she didn’t reach out a hand and poke them like she would have if we were in private. “It’s not the size that matters, Leah. It’s how you flaunt it.” 

I just had to laugh at Juliet’s cheerful advice. “You do know that Uncle Jim would have a cow if he heard you say that, right?” 

The curve on Juliet’s lips was wicked and sly. “I’m sure Gabriel like your boobs just fine.” 

I didn’t even bother to sigh; the Triplets had ragged me off and on about Gabriel on a daily basis over summer break. “I’m sure that Gabe doesn’t even notice that I have them.” 

Complete lie. Before we had parted for the summer Gabriel had indicated very clearly that he had noticed that I was a girl, and therefore have boobs. As if she was reading my mind—and I wouldn’t put it beneath her—Juliet scoffed. “Please. He’s a dude. He noticed your boobs. Trust me.” 

“Fine.” I agreed. “But in a strictly friendly kind of way.” 

Juliet snorted a laugh. “Do me a favor and tell that to Titania so she can write rude, sarcastic poetry about how you and Gabriel are ‘just friends’.” 

“We are friends.” 

Another lie. Wow, I was really racking them up. At least this time it was partially true. 

“Uh-hm. And we didn’t actually see you guys kiss right before he left for Borneo?” 

If I had been drinking something, Juliet would be dripping with it. Since I wasn’t, I merely gaped at her. “Wha-what?” 

Juliet’s grin was wide and smug. “We heard him knock on your window at three o’clock in the morning. If you guys wanted to keep it a secret, he shouldn’t have been so loud.” 

“He had to go real early so he figured it’d be his only chance to—” 

“—kiss you goodbye?” Juliet’s grin became even wider. 

“We weren’t—” All right, there was no way to get around this but to admit the truth and downplay it. “It was just an experiment.” 

This time Juliet chortled gleefully. “Of what? How fast you could get each other hot? Cause, I’ll tell you, just watching you guys kiss steamed up my window pretty quick.” 

I felt the hot flush rising up my cheeks and I flicked a pencil over at Juliet, which she easily caught. Damn her and her stupid cheerleader reflexes. “Keep your voice down.” I narrowed my black eyes. “You guys didn’t tell anybody about this, right?” 

She flicked the pencil back, which I ignored. It landed and rolled on top of my desk. “If you don’t want anyone to gossip about you, you should’ve told him to come inside your room.” She flashed me a smile. “I bet that would’ve added a little more spice to the rumor mill.” 

“I told you, it was just an experiment. I asked him to kiss me.” I rubbed my nose. It didn’t feel like it was growing longer. 

Juliet looked skeptical. “Why?” 

I shrugged, then rolled my eyes. “It’s not like I have a lot of guys lining up to date me. I got curious, so…” I let her fill in the blanks. 

“And he just said okay?” 

“Why not? It’s only a kiss.” I ducked down and pretended to search for something inside my bag. I wasn’t sure my nonchalant expression could hold up against the intensity of Juliet’s blue eyes. 

When Juliet didn’t continue with her sets of questions, I figured she had accepted my explanation—I was sure Juliet had heard crazier things than best friends kissing each other—but no, when I finally lifted my head, Juliet’s eyes immediately latched back onto mine. Her expression was strangely understanding. “If you say so.” 

“I do.” 

I remembered the day we were talking about like it was yesterday instead of months ago. I remembered feeling disgruntled and majorly peeved that I had to get out of my warm bed. I remembered scowling at his grinning face, and I remembered, most of all, the overwhelming panic I felt over him leaving. 

Needless to say, I had abandonment issues. 

“Nice bed hair. Trying out a new style?” was the first thing he’d said when I slid the window open. His pale green eyes were way too clear and bright for the ungodly hour. I was tempted to throw something at him. 

“Bite me. What are you doing here?” I pushed the curtains back and opened the window wider, shivering in my pajamas when a cold gust of wind blew in. “Come in, it’s too cold outside.” 

He lifted an eyebrow. “You’re not going to make a habit of inviting boys into your room while I’m away, right?” 

His mouth curved when I narrowed my eyes. He always did have a perverse sense of humor. 

He shuffled his feet and shoved his hands into his pockets, his shoulder hunched against the cold air of early morning. “We’re going to leave early so I might not see you. I figured I’d just say goodbye now.” 

I blinked and combed my fingers through my hair, fighting not to make a fist and pull. He must’ve seen something on my face, though, because he took his hands out of his pockets and reached for mine, untangling them from my hair. “I’ll be back when school starts.” His eyes searched mine and he tried out a comforting smile, as if he knew what his absence meant to me. Maybe he did. “I’ll email you when I get there.” 

I kept my hands lax in his, even when he tangled our fingers together. I hated feeling needy, hated the fact that every time he left with his travel-loving parents to some obscure corner of the world, I couldn’t stomach going out of my house because I was too afraid. So I kept my fingers relaxed in his, kept my stance comfortable, although my toes curled into the fluffy rug that was spread across my bedroom floor as my mind screamed, Don’t leave. Don’t leave me. 

“All right. Safe journey and don’t enjoy yourself too much. We all know what’ll happen when you do.” I maintained an easy expression on my face. It was getting easier, acting like I was okay and wrapping my tongue around a lie. 

But Gabriel was Gabriel, and like the Triplets, he might not know all that was going on with me but he could sniff out my emotions like a bloodhound. 

“Listen,” he said and squeezed my fingers, his almond shaped eyes—a mark of his Asian genes—met mine. “I want to try something.” 

Curiosity swam clear of my panic and sense of loss. “What?” 

He hesitated, looked away, and then looked back at me. “I want to kiss you.” 

I blinked. “Okay.” 

Now both of his eyebrows sailed upwards into his hairline. “Okay? Just like that?” 

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like we’ve never kissed before, and if I remember correctly back then I was the one who asked you.” 

“We were ten.” 

I was kind of insulted by the subtle disparaging tone in his voice. Sure, the kiss wasn’t fireworks and magic, but it was soft and it was sweet and heck, it was my first kiss. It was my only kiss. And we laughed ourselves silly afterwards. “So?” 

I scowled when he looked at me as if I was missing something very important. “What?” 

He smiled and the smile grew into a grin that evolved into a chuckle. I was tempted to follow through with the urge to whap him over the head when he suddenly pulled on my hands and kissed me. 

When he angled his head and his hand covered my nape, I understood why he had laughed at me. Obviously, Gabe had learned some major new tricks over the space of seven years. 

The fingers on my nape slipped into my hair while his other hand ran up my spine and curved over my shoulder, pressing me closer to him. 

All the while his mouth stayed on mine. 

His lips were cool and slightly dry, but they warmed and softened over mine as seconds crept by, and I noticed there were certain advantages to kissing a boy who was only slightly taller than me. 

Then Gabe shifted slightly and opened his mouth against mine. My heart stuttered and decided to pump faster and harder inside my chest, beating a rapid thudthudthud against my ribs. We certainly didn’t kiss like this when we were ten. I kept my fingers on the curtains, crushing the soft, thick material with my fingers as the harmless kiss grew sharp edges by the second. His lips moved slowly but firmly over mine, and their gentle pressure coaxed my lips open, just a little, and I heard a low muffled sound from Gabe which I took for approval. 

At least, I hoped it was approval. 

Belatedly, as Gabe’s fingers held onto me tighter and his lips moved even surer against mine, I realized what was happening. The repercussions of what we were doing dropped on me like an Acme anvil. But it still took several seconds for me to touch my hands to Gabe’s chest—which of course he took as encouragement rather than a lame attempt to stop him. 

My thoughts scattered when Gabe stroked a thumb over my cheekbone and softly, gently ran the tip of his tongue against my bottom lip. 

Shivers streaked up my spine and my knees locked into place but I managed to tear my mouth from his and gasp out, “Gabe, stop.” 

I was torn between admiration and insult when Gabe immediately did just that. His hands dropped to his sides while he took a step back. His eyes—usually mild and humorous, but now wearing a darker, predatory gleam—stayed on mine. When those familiar eyes with the unfamiliar light dropped to my swollen lips, I almost closed the window on his face. 

But he looked away, breathing in air with big gulps, until after taking one long breath he finally looked back at me. 

His expression was almost back to normal, but I could see the slight tightness around his eyes, the way he pressed his lips together, which only made mine buzz even stronger. 

“So,” I said when we only managed to stare at each other. I tried a smile. “How did I mark in this experiment of yours?” 

I knew it was the wrong thing to say when he went still. No one grew still like Gabe could, even our karate sensei commented on it. It was the stillness of animals, of hunters, of soldiers. The stillness lasted two seconds, four, before his stance relaxed. His grin was wide and all kinds of wrong, and I squelched the guilt that pricked at my heart. 

“Not bad.” He said, his eyes glittering in the soft light of my night-light. “You need a little more practice, though.” 

It was a sign. I figured surely there couldn’t be a more obvious opening line than that. I plastered a small smile on my face and went in for the kill. “Maybe I’ll get a little more practice while you’re away. Summer love and all that.” 

Something passed over Gabe’s face, like a passing cloud over the path of the moon in a midnight sky. His eyes locked onto my face, and I had to fight to keep a smile there. But I managed, because this was important. At that exact second, nothing was more important than this. I couldn’t lose Gabe, and as clichéd as it was, getting involved with Gabe in that way would only muck things up, and I really didn’t know how to survive without Gabe as my best friend. 

Lying to him when he was my best friend was bad enough. 

What if I ended up like my mother, disappearing into thin air? 

It would kill my family and Gabe would— 

I didn’t want to think of how Gabe would react. It hurt too much and the possibilities were too many. So, with that in mind, when Gabe reached out a hand to hold mine, I softly pulled away, and saw the light inside his eyes dimmed. 

“Bye, Gabe. Be careful, all right?” 

Gabe’s eyes watched me for a full minute before he stuck his hands inside his pockets and nodded. “Okay, you too.” 

His eyes strayed to mine before he pivoted, jogged, and vaulted over the fence that parted our houses. 

When he turned as if to look at me, I pulled away from the window and closed it tight. 

I made harmless doodles on my notes as I remembered, absently listening to Mrs. Delilah’s rambling. Those months while he was away had been a practice in self-reliance, self-control, and sheer denial; but I decided that maybe it was exactly what we needed. 

Besides, Gabe could snap his fingers and girls would line three deep in front of him, anxious for his attention. So I was pretty sure he’d get over his…curiosity soon enough, and from the way he had sidled up to me this morning like he had done every previous day of our lives, I figured he already had. 

I ignored the twinge in my heart and sighed softly, relieved to have managed to avoid such a crisis that could have gone all levels of wrong. But now that Gabriel was back and it seemed we had returned to our usual status quo, everything in my life was as it should be. 

I could almost forget the feeling of gloom that I had felt when I woke up this morning. 

False alarm, I convinced myself. Sure, they were hanging out in the school in larger numbers than usual but that wasn’t so odd. All I needed to focus on was to get good grades, do my chores, and concentrate on ignoring everything else that didn’t involve those two things. If I did that and kept my head low, what could possibly go wrong? 

My stomach plummeted as those words echoed inside my head and the fine hairs on the back of my neck rose straight up at attention. 

No. No way. 

I kept my head down but inched my eyes toward the front of the class where Mrs. Delilah had paused in the middle of a sentence because someone had knocked on the door. 

Impossible. 

I watched as Mrs. Delilah greeted the tall, lanky stranger, and tried to ignore the hum of interest from my classmates. 

“He’s new. I met him in the teachers’ lounge,” Juliet whispered, but I was busy hunching over my seat, trying to make myself invisible as best as I could. 

Mrs. Delilah clapped her hands and waved in the new student, her face wreathed with one of her rare smiles. “Class, we have a new student. His name is Justin Real and I’m sure we’ll do everything we can to help him settle down.” 

I sliced a glance toward my classmates’ faces and watched them smile at ‘Justin Real’, looking at him like he was some kind of god. But that was how it had always been when normal people met one of them. They couldn’t help but gravitate toward them, be influenced by them. After all, that was why they were made. 

To be influenced. To be persuaded. To be prepared. 

I watched my classmates, including David Wile—the class bully—make way for him as he walked with long, wide steps to his chair—which was on the other side of the class. 

Thank God for small mercies. 

The answer to my unvoiced question, what could possibly be wrong? 

Apparently everything. 

Because Justin Real, the new student, was Touched. 

I could deal with people who were Touched, but Justin Real wasn’t just Touched. My eyes slid a couple of inches from Justin to the shiny, shimmering profile which stood silently behind him, unseen by normal eyes. 

He was also sporting a rare, one-of-a-kind accessory. Justine Real had, for lack of a better word, a Guardian Angel backing him up on his first day of school. 

Talk about overkill. 

And just when it seemed things couldn’t get any worse, the shiny, shimmering profile turned, as if it sensed me or my thoughts, and although I couldn’t see its face, I knew it was looking at me. 

I tore my eyes away from it and stared down at my desk. Sweat dribbled down the middle of my back to pool at the waistband of my skirt. Sunrise burst inside my mouth and sounds, eerie and rapturous, erupted inside my head. My skin felt as if it was trying to crawl away from my body, and the room was simply too hot. Suddenly faced with everything that I had tried to avoid my whole life, I did what any normal seventeen year old would do; I went up to the teacher and feigned some sort of vague illness. And this time I didn’t have to lie very much. I already felt and looked the part.

Copyright © 2012 by D.F. Jules

2Hell, Thy Name is Highschool

On the first day of high school three years ago, I joined the Chess Club. 

Now, now, before all of you groan and commit me to the crazy and loser box, you should know that at Trinity High, the Chess Club was actually quite respectable, as was shown by the prime spot reserved for us in the school quad. 

Even now, right under the shade of the old, gigantic tree that has been there since forever, my club-mates were working out their cognitive abilities and exercising their mental muscle. 

The teachers thought that the reason the chess players were left alone was because the Chess Club had won several chess tournaments, proving that we were in fact a group to contend with. The main reason why we did not suffer cruel acts of punishment and humiliation was because of the underground poker game we held each year. 

For the past three years, the undisputed champion of said poker game was, surprisingly, our very own chairman, who used his winnings to procure lovely collector’s item chess sets of both Alice in Wonderland and The Lord of the Rings. 

Even I had to admit, the money was well spent. 

After nodding at some familiar faces, I hunkered down my spot under our club's usual tree and lied on my back, watching the way sunlight danced through the thick green leaves. Usually, I preferred to be in some dark corner of the school where there wouldn’t be too many people wandering around, intruding on my time and personal space, but that was nothing that stylish shades and a well-chosen playlist couldn’t help. 

If only this method worked against them. 

But no, they were too bright, too loud, too involved to be ignored, muffled or avoided. 

That was one of the first things I had learned. There was no avoiding them. Wherever there were people, there they were, watching, observing, listening…influencing. 

And considering the fact that Trinity High was teeming with teenagers, susceptible and impulsive, they swarmed the place. I couldn’t turn my head without seeing one or two, or in some special cases, three, hovering around someone or another. 

I tried shutting my eyes, closing my ears, and numbing my senses, but nothing worked. I just had to work around it like my mother and my Uncle had told me to, and pretend that I couldn’t see them, that I didn’t know about them. 

I wondered how long I could keep this up before I joined the padded-cells brigade. 

I ran my tongue over my teeth and swallowed when I tasted…sunlight; bright, golden, and hot, and knew that one was close. That was the trouble, my talent didn’t just stop at seeing or hearing like my mom’s, I could literally taste their presence, sense them in the air. Even now I felt heat creeping up my arm as if I was standing in the sun instead of lying in the shade and I felt the urge to open my eyes and see—the way a character in a horror movie would feel when there was someone or something breathing down their neck; and instead of running they turned, only to find an axe murderer or some kind of evil beastie. 

I felt my heart pump faster and I could feel sweat gathering at my temples, despite the shade. I tried to steady my breathing—it wouldn’t do to attract attention, and they would hear and notice my elevated heart rate and my clear distress—but the more I pulled breath into my lungs, the more I could smell them, the more I tasted them, and that jacked up my heartbeat even more. 

I pressed my lips together to stop myself from mumbling incoherently, and my thoughts shifted to the Triplets. They could calm me down, they could take my mind off my panic, but I knew the Triplets would be holding court by now and would be too busy to take care of me. The Triplets were popular, they were the very symbol of the High Court of Trinity High (triplets, Trinity, big laughs all around). They were what other people thought would never have existed. They were popular and they were nice. 

So, being nice and being related to me, they would of course stop whatever they were doing to baby their weird, crazy cousin; but today that didn’t cut it for me, and because of that I didn’t stand up and run to the Triplets. Instead, I kept quiet and did mental visualizations. 

“Ah, sleeping beauty.” 

I almost cried in relief at the low, familiar voice, and did in fact feel my eyes sting when the voice affected me the way it always did. The raspy, almost touchable tones changed vowels and consonants into a web, a filter, a cocoon that blanketed my senses. 

“Are you really sleeping?” 

I concentrated on the cadences of that sweet, sweet voice, and almost melted to the ground beneath my back. I saw the brightness pulled back from my eyelids, tasted nothing on my tongue but the banana pancakes I had eaten for breakfast and felt the heat smothered by the moist coolness of the early morning rain. 

I rolled my eyes behind closed lids when I felt a finger poke my shoulder. “Hey, are even you alive?” 

I opened my eyes to meet pale green eyes framed by sooty lashes, those mischievous eyes in sharp relief on the strong, tanned face. 

“Gabe.” I kept my supine position on the grass but crossed my legs at the ankles and added a smirk for good measure. My nod was polite enough, but the body language was insolent and challenging. 

His smile grew an inch wider. 

“I thought you weren’t going to come home for two more weeks.” 

He shrugged broad shoulders. Even in the morning before class, his white uniform shirt was already wrinkled, his striped blue-yellow tie stuffed into his pocket, and his sleeves pushed to the elbows. The build under the shirt was slender but hard muscled, the type that you didn’t get by working religiously at a gym but by sheer, laborious, field work. Same goes for the tan and the gold highlights on his raggedly cut brown hair, which was now pulled into a half ponytail. No sitting in the salon for Gabe; he got it the old fashioned way, spending lots of hours beneath the glaring heat of the sun. 

He sat down beside me, blocking the school building and everything inside it from my sight. “Cut due to some problems.” 

I perked up at the mention of ‘problems.’ I knew when it came to my best friend in the whole wide world that these so-called problems would range from (accidentally) setting something on fire to fooling around with a reverend’s daughter. Two things that Gabriel Shannah had been known to do, without a qualm and without remorse. “What kind of problems?” I asked archly, and received a slow wink in return. 

“The kind that you don’t talk about if you don’t want trouble.” 

“You always want trouble.” I considered pouting, but since it didn’t come naturally to me I decided not to bother. I was too psyched about his presence to complain. “How was Borneo anyway?” 

Gabriel brushed away strands of hair from his face and squinted green eyes across the quad, exchanging nods and waves with friends and acquaintances. In spite of him being the chairmen of the Chess Club, or maybe because of that, Gabe was considered one of the cool kids. 

“Hot. Humid. Green.” 

“Traveled much?” 

“Went to Indonesia.” He grinned. “Saw orang utans.” 

A gasp of envy escaped my lips; seeing orang utans was on my lists of 100 Things to Do Before I Die. “You did not.” 

The cocky, smug grin on Gabe’s face made me wanted to pound him. “Yes, I did. Do you know that ‘orang utan’ actually means, literally, ‘people of the forest’?” 

“Actually, I do.” Now I did feel a sulk coming, but curiosity won, like always. “What were they like?” 

“They’re very sweet and gentle.” Gabe’s usually bright green eyes dulled. “It’s hard to believe that humans could hurt such an animal.” 

“We hurt each other all the time when we actually have the option to talk to each other.” I sat up but paused when I saw him watching me with an indescribable look on his face. “What?” 

His long, lean fingers played with the grass by his feet. I started to get nervous as I noted several changes which had taken place in Gabe over the months in which we hadn’t seen each other. He finally took his eyes off of my face and stood up. “Nothing. It’s just that other people would have put that sentence in a different way. They would say, ‘people hurt each other all the time.’” He brushed a hand over the seat of his pants. “They would set themselves apart, rather than use the word ‘we’ like you did.” 

I frowned in thought, even as I automatically put a hand in his. I patted my own butt and kept frowning as I slid my hands over my knee-high uniform socks. “Well, I poke at you and the Triplets all the time just for the hell of it, not only when I'm angry at you. So, I’m hardly exempt from the general rule.” 

Gabriel lifted a hand to my waist-length hair and shook blades of grass off of it. “That’s true, it’s just that some people won’t admit it.” 

“Well, I’m not some people.” Never were there truer words spoken. 

Gabriel merely snorted and lifted both his arms over his head, slowly stretching like a big cat after a nap in the sun. I noticed something and caught his arm. “Wait.” 

He turned halfway and lifted an eyebrow, and like every other time he’d done that I felt the sudden urge to poke his eye out. 

I circled him slowly before finally stopping right in front of him. “You’re taller than me.” 

Gabriel blinked and a smile crept onto his face before he threw his head back and laughed. “You’ve always bitched about being taller than everybody else, but now that you‘re not, you’re mad?” 

It was true, all my life I had been the skinny, gawky, tall kid. As soon as I noticed that at five nine I’d topped most of the girls and boys in my school, I realized that I should learn to either get comfortable with my height or end up as the Hunchback of Trinity High. 

No-brainer. 

“What are you? Seven feet tall?” I asked, disgusted. 

“Six two actually.” Gabriel preened before my scowling face. 

“Freak.” 

“Mutant.” 

We started walking again, and I realized that he was stealing looks at me. 

“You’re growing out your hair again?” 

I clutched at my hair. It was real black, the kind of black that had blue highlights in the sun. It was straight as rain, cut with multiple lengths, and ran down almost to my waist. It was the one thing I was really vain about. “Well, I figured you’d grown out of the hair-pulling phase of your life, so it’s now safe for me to have long hair again.” 

Gabriel snickered and pulled at a chunk of my hair. “Don’t be so sure. I might have a few relapses now and again.” 

“Well, then I’ll just punch you and hope you’ll recover.” 

“Thanks so much.” 

“What are friends for?” 

We approached the school doors and immediately, after flicking feigned disinterested looks at each other, we broke into a fast walk. He reached the doors seconds before me, and with a satisfied look on his face opened the door with a flourish and a courtly bow. 

It was one of our things. Gabriel loved to be old fashioned; he liked opening doors, standing up when a woman left the table, he wouldn’t even curse in front of me or the Triplets. Honestly, I didn’t really care about all that—I just liked to needle him. So I speared him with a dirty look before flouncing in through the door. “Sexist pig.” 

“Just because you can pound grown men into the practice mat doesn’t mean you don’t get to be treated like a lady.” 

I rolled my eyes at his usual reply, but my lips curved into a smile. We’d been friends for eight years, ever since I moved in with my uncle. Gabriel was literally the boy next door. We hadn’t started out as friends, though. The minute we first caught sight of each other over the fence that parted his parents’ and my uncle’s houses, there had been instant friction. Gabriel was the leader of the neighborhood boys, while I was the strange and mysterious new kid on the block. I was a loner and I hardly ever talked. Gabriel was determined to break me as he had broken all the other kids in our neighborhood, but although I was quiet, I wasn’t the type to lie down and die. 

Thinking back, it was a good thing, actually. At the time I was angry, lonely and sad. I had just lost my mother and had to move away from everything familiar into a place completely new and, what was worse, I didn’t get to know anything. No one would even answer my questions. 

Who was my father? 

Where is my mother? 

What happened to her? 

Did she leave me? 

And what were these weird things I keep seeing, hearing, tasting, and feeling? 

Is that what took my mother? 

And why does everybody keep looking at me funny? 

And even worse, people pitied me because they thought my mother had left me. 

I helped around the house, listened to my uncle, did my chores, ate, slept, played with my cousins, but I didn’t cry, I didn’t talk and I showed no interest in doing anything, not even continuing my karate lessons that I used to love so much. 

Then Gabriel came and poked and poked and poked and poked… 

One day, I just exploded. Red hazed my eyes as I cocked back an arm and punched Gabriel. Being a nine year old boy and a midget with something to prove he punched back, both of us did our best to rip each other’s head off. 

But as I hit and clawed and kicked something happened inside me, something stretched and stretched and stretched and finally snapped. 

Embarrassingly, I burst into tears, and the tears—not to mention the snot—kept on coming, even when I opened my mouth and sank my teeth into his arm… 

…and he let me. It took a moment for me to notice that Gabriel wasn’t hitting me back. I let go of his arm and blinked at him. 

His face was a study of misery as he looked back at me. 

Then he did something totally unexpected. He lifted the arm that had my teeth marks on it and patted my head, slowly, gently. Again and again he patted the top of my head, and as our eyes met I realized that I had found myself a best friend. 

Over the years I became sure that Uncle Jim would have preferred if I had found a good, dutiful female best friend instead since Gabriel was a bit of a trouble maker, and he had a knack for persuading me to be one as well. 

Not that he had to try very hard. 

It also didn’t take long for me to realize that my friendship with Gabriel brought on a perk other than his ultra-cool tree house, one I could hardly believe. Whenever I touched him, whenever Gabriel spoke, it was like I entered into an isolation chamber where my senses dulled and turned…ordinary. 

I couldn’t sense them anymore, or hear them or taste them or feel them. Gabriel was like my ultimate shield and I couldn’t help but feel that we were fated to meet. Gabriel Shannah, my own little miracle. 

I elbowed my little miracle in the ribs, hard enough to make him wince. “So, Gabe, scored with any Borneo babes?” 

He gave me a look that was part amusement and part scowl. “A gentleman never kisses and tells.” 

“I’m not asking you to kiss me, I’m just asking you to tell.” 

“Oh, please, the second I pucker my lips, you’ll be all over me.” 

I scoffed at him, despite feeling a slight…um, discomfort at where the conversation was headed. “Come on, you told me about Tina Sheffield.” 

He arched a brow and sniffed as though offended. “I was eleven and didn’t know any better.” 

“Bet you don’t know any better now.” 

The insult to his manly prowess was too much for him to ignore. “How much?” 

“Why, Gabriel Shannah, are you trying to bet on a lady’s virtue?” 

Gabriel almost looked embarrassed. “You’re a bad influence on me.” 

“Uncle Jim said that you’re a bad influence on me.” 

“Still mad about that motorcycle thing, huh?” 

“You’re still banned from our household,” I retorted with mock seriousness. 

Gabe rolled his eyes. “This from a guy who let all of us play with knives when we were ten.” He put an arm around my shoulders and gave me a lopsided grin that could melt any woman’s heart at fifty paces. “Then we’ll just have to meet in secret in our tree house.” 

I fluttered my eyelashes. “A tryst, how romantic.” 

He chuckled before detangling his arm from me and turning left. “See you at lunch.” 

Now that he wasn’t looking, I felt it safe to look at him with an affectionate smile, even when our parting made my senses return back to what was normal for me. I popped my iPod ear buds back into place and walked with my eyes on my toes so as not to see anything, taking comfort in knowing that I would meet Gabriel again at lunch. 

Surely I could tough it out until then, right? 

Copyright © 2012 by D.F. Jules